Disclaimer:
When I first posted this I was unbalanced, rude, and I took unfair aim at online Christian schools. Many of the people who work at these schools, as well as the families who support them and use their services are my brothers and sisters in Christ. I have no right to speak of them like I did. I apologize, and ask for their forgiveness.
What you now see is the edited version. It is still written in the spirit of this blog, but hopefully is more focused on the issue that I wanted to address in the first place: the ever expanding Christian bubble that we build for ourselves. Thank you so much to the faithful readers of this blog, who courageously called me out in the comments section (which remains, as always, unedited.)
Why do parts of our Christian subculture continue to shrink in on themselves like a stinking trash compactor? The pain, confusion and desperation of the world continues to rise like a fart in the tub. Pick a headline. Look in the mirror. Take a peak across the street. Chances are you are going to see someone that needs a little hope; let’s quit running away and offer some!
We’ve had this conversation before, and I’m still waiting for someone to put me back in my place; looking for anyone to prove that I’m out of line here and suggest that I should sit back down in a comfy padded pew and keep my overzealous cakehole shut.
Believe me; I’d rather spend all of my days writing about rest for the weary. Tales of hope and redemption go down so much better than these insomnia induced rants. I’m not lying when I say that I’d rather make the Church shed tears of healing than escort her to the woodshed for a good whoopin’.
Problem is, sometimes there’s a problem.
So let me tell you about the recent spark that lit a fire in my underpants…
For the past couple weeks I’ve been grinding through a lengthy commute. The first couple days were spent playing Russian roulette with the radio dial, but I finally settled for the spirit-numbing clichés of popular Christian broadcasting*.
The melodious platitudes of the pious were just starting to make me twitch when I heard an advertisement for an online Christian school, which “…provides the opportunity to obtain a complete Alberta Education Diploma without ever having to enter a regular classroom.” According to their own advertising, what makes this school “Christian” is that a few core subjects are taught from a Biblical worldview.
I know, right?!? There I was, stuck in traffic, starving for a fight, and they serve up steaming religious reclusiveness on a plate, with a tall glass of cold Christian callousness to wash it down. The radio advertisement truly made it sound as if we’d raise more Christlike kids if we could just chain them to a desk in the safety of their own homes.
Forget about releasing captives or setting prisoners free; what REALLY makes you a Christian is simply what you know? And what the hell is wrong with a “regular” classroom? I thought Jesus came for the “regulars”. I thought He loved the maybe-a-little-below-averages. Wasn’t the God of the Bible concerned about the don’t-quite-have-it-all-togethers?
There are plenty of good reasons to get an education online, but trying to keep your kids from rubbing elbows with the heathen masses is not one of them. Are your kids in danger in a regular classroom? Then by all means, go buy a Mac. I’m behind you ninety-nine percent. (I’ll reserve one percent for all the kids being left behind to fend for themselves.)
Listen. I’m all for helping instill a Biblical worldview in our kids. But the fact is that from first to last, that Bible you are getting your students to memorize tells the story of a God who gets his hands dirty. If we don’t help our children learn to engage society with a Biblical worldview, at best we are going to graduate more conservative voters.
I hate to break it to the well-meaning souls who believe they are doing right by those kids, but this is where the chalk hits the board: Jesus is putting out a call for sacrificial lambs, not well-trained moral watchdogs. Show me an 8-year-old who knows how to bear someone else’s burdens, and I’ll show you a Christian education, no matter what school he attends.
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*In the salty sea of the Christian recording industry, there are still pockets of crisp clean water that can quench a thirsty soul. If that’s what you need today, check out Steven Curtis Chapman’s “Heaven is the Face”, or Amy Grant’s “Better Than a Hallelujah”.
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Is it the online part or the Christian part that you have a problem with? I know people who homeschool their kids and their kids are very involved in the community and not stuck in a “prayer closet”. Have you had a child bullied to the point they want to commit suicide? Have you had a child that ended up doing drugs and running away from home? I’m not saying that school is the cause of this but you are sending you kids to a place that has more time with them then you really do and therefore has a huge influence on your kids. Unless you have walked in the shoes of those you want to slap I don’t think you have the right to “Holy Trash” them.
You are absolutely right in saying I haven’t walked in those shoes. Truth is, I actually have zero issues with homeschooling, or any other form of education for that matter. By all means, do whatever is necessary to protect your kids.
What I DO have an issue with, is the assumption that our holiness is directly proportional to our distance from the drug dealers and bullies that prey upon our kids.
So I guess the short answer is, I have a problem with slapping the Christian label on anything that moves the church away from her mission.
Thanks for your comments,by the way. Someone once said that wounds from a friend can be trusted… or something like that.
A number of people have left comments on Facebook. I’ll share them here:
MAKIKO J says:
I was thinking this when I heard my friend who is a teacher being offered a job in one of these schools. She declined. My belief is that you can’t make a difference in people’s lives if you haven’t been there walking alongside them throug…h thick and thin. That’s what earns us the right to speak into their lives. Radio advertisement for a ‘Christian’ insurance agent got a huge eye roll from me when they said ‘we will give you a discount if you come in and say you are an evangelical Christian!’. Well, what is the point of doing that!? This ‘us and them’ mentality drives me bonkers!
Julie Quantz says:
I am a graduate of public education. I made it, but still struggle from the after effects of being teased and alienated by my classmates. My kids are in a Christian school. They have teachers who care about their spiritual welfare, they hav…e memorized countless verses and have friendships that will last all the way to eternity. I was (still am) a girl in need of self esteem boosters. Not a daily dose of ridicule. I want a strong foundation for my kids. Friends who help build them up. Teachers who keep them accountable and remember them in prayer. I wish I had this in those vulnerable teen years.
Jake Enns says:
I tried posting a comment on the blog but it throws an error back at me. So here goes:
Like it. Luke 15 in the first couple of verses shows the kind of people that Jesus liked to hang out with and the kind that liked to hang with him. Sadly so many Christians don’t get it today, just like the religious didn’t get it back then.
This is not a new problem, and I vote for both slaps. A startling backhand followed by a roustabout forehand, for good measure. I doubt it would actually wake anyone up but it would make one feel like he is doing something positive to move toward change.
I have friends (amazing in and of itself) with kids in every form of education, and respect them all. I’ll say it again: it isn’t my intention to disparage any particular school system.
That being said, I have a friend who’s Facebook religious views simply say “destroyed”, due in part to what he experienced in a Christian school.
The underlying purpose of this little rant is to challenge all of us to dig a little deeper, and discern what values are actually being promoted when the word “Christian” is attached to something. Sometimes they are great. Other times, they are more akin to what comes out of the hind end of a purebred Angus.
Wasn’t it Steve Taylor who sang,
“So you need a new car?
Let your fingers take a walk
Through the business guide for the “born again” flock
You’ll be keeping all your money
In the kingdom now
And you’ll only drink milk from a Christian cow
Don’t you go casting your bread
To keep the heathen well-fed
Line Christian pockets instead
Avoid temptation
Guilty by association”
i think that might be the point you’re trying to make?
Interestingly enough, even far far from the comfy padded North American (first-world) pews, we have a Christian culture that fabricates a bubble, believe me, we live it. never ceases to amaze us…
You’re right, Emma. That’s exactly the point I’m trying to make. I wonder what my friend Julie’s public school experience might have been like if it had been infused with a dozen caring Christian teachers, and a few hundred Christian students (other than crowded)?
I hear you about seperating ourselves. We need to be a part of the world in order to help in the healing of our world. Hiding our children from reality will not help them.
That said, I attend an online bible college. It has helped me immensely. I would pay triple what it costs and stil say it was worth every penny. It is however not grade school but higher education. It is online for the sake of those who are pressed for time. It is not online so I can have a place safe from the so called “world.”
It sounds like to me you don’t have an issue with online school as much as you do the motive of some who use it. Calling out online schools as trash doesn’t help prove your point. On the contrary it makes you sound ignorant on the subject. It’s not okay to slander a good thing because you’ve seen the potential for others to use it innapropriately.
It’s like saying – blogs are all trash. Aren’t they just a way for people to hide on the internet instead of participating in real life? – Yet, here we are having learned much, that is being educated online, from a man and his blog.
Keep up the good work Mate, seriously I do enjoy your online education.
Joe
Glad I didn’t immediately put my 2 cents in which would have been a gentle argument contrary to your opinion
Haven’t read anything you’ve written up to this point that I felt strongly enough to comment on till now. Then I read a few comments and realized I wasn’t alone and hoped you might “re-write” this blog entry a bit 
keep it up!